How to Cope

If you voted for Trump, this post is not for you.

Am I really writing this again? After this and this and this? Yes, I am.

I got a text out of the blue a couple of days after the election from a local friend whom I’ve known for a long time but see only occasionally. He said he was checking in, a thoughtful gesture that I can only assume he was extending to everyone in his contacts list. When I responded that I was on a news blackout as part of my coping strategy, he responded that he was doing the same and also “if you have any book or art or podcast recommendations, please share.”

Almost two weeks later, I’m still on a partial news blackout so here’s what I’ve got. No hot takes on what Democrats did right or wrong. No comments on the clown car of Trump appointees and the havoc they’ll wreak. No analysis of what needs to be done next to resist and rebuild — just some recommendations for how to cope right now. If you have other suggestions, please drop a comment. Others will appreciate it.

Read. The best book I’ve read this year is James by Percival Everett. It’s a marvelous re-telling of Huckleberry Finn from the point of view of Jim, the enslaved man who accompanied Huck on his journey. I still recommend it but if you are looking for something a little lighter, I’d suggest pretty much anything by Amor Towles (his latest being Table for Two), Husbands by Holly Gramazio, and These Precious Days, a wonderful collection of essays by Ann Patchett. You can’t go wrong with one of Cara Black’s Paris mysteries or Claire Keegan’s novellas. If nonfiction is your bag, my not-so-dark recommendations are Granny Gatewood’s Walk by Ben Montgomery about an intrepid older lady who walked the Appalachian Trail, When Women Ran Fifth Avenue by Julie Satow which chronicles leadership at Lord & Taylor, Bonwit Teller and others, and The Art Thief by Michael Finkel which is about exactly that.

Watch. I previously shared my penchant for costume dramas (or as a colleague once said to me, “anything with a horse and buggy”), so I’m looking forward to new seasons of Wolf Hall on PBS and Empress (which focuses on Empress Sisi of Austria) on Netflix. I also loved Ehrengard, a Danish fairy tale style romance on Netflix that relied heavily on the artistic vision of modern day Queen Margrethe. (Watch the accompanying documentary feature — it’s fascinating.). If you prefer the present day, Nobody Wants This is a charming contemporary rom-com with absolutely no resemblance to reality.

But I also love a good thriller. We saw Conclave in the theater last week and I give it four stars. I recently rewatched The Fugitive with Harrison Ford; that movie never gets old even when you know how the story will end. I’m also a sucker for a solid British police procedural including Vera, Shetland, Sherwood, and Scott and Bailey. Warning: the body count on some of these shows can be quite high.

Listen. My podcast library is a bit heavy on politics so I’ve been hitting delete on recent episodes. But I can recommend Twenty Thousand Hertz which is all about sound design, a topic I know nothing about. Who knew that the development of familiar acoustic logos of Windows or HBO, or how the engineers picked the little tune your dryer plays at the end of its cycle could be so interesting? If you enjoy true crime, Criminal is a treat, especially host Phoebe Judge’s soothing voice. And for fun, check out Mobituaries with Mo Rocca. The series ended in 2023 but there’s a large back catalog.

If you can’t stand the thought of anyone yapping in your ear right now, you can go to my “songs for healing” playlist on Spotify. The genesis was the playlist I used to burn to CDs for friends going through chemo, and over time, it’s grown to nearly five hours of my soothing favorites.

Give. Lots of organizations could use your contribution of time and money right now, both those working nationally and those at the local level. Now would be a good time to up your annual giving to organizations that either advocate for and directly serve folks who are in for a world of hurt; that includes those working to address climate change, provide support to migrants and refugees, fight for reproductive freedom, feed the hungry, support the LGBTQIA+ community, provide care in war zones and disaster areas, and defend voting and civil rights.

Cook something delicious for someone you love. It’s the perfect season for soups, stews, and sheet pan dinners. And all you bakers out there, get to work. Chopping, measuring, and stirring are all therapeutic, and can be done solo or with others. Pick something straightforward; now is not the time to worry whether the souffle will collapse or the dough will rise.

If you want a specific suggestion, let me recommend lentil soup from the original Moosewood cookbook. It was the first cookbook I owned and maybe the first one I threw away, saving just three or four classics that I cook on repeat as the season dictates. I’d also say it’s the perfect time for homemade chocolate chip cookies. (But truly — is there a bad time for homemade chocolate chip cookies?)

Move your body. A good long walk in nature is restorative and demonstrably good for both physical and mental health. But if you don’t have the time or the weather’s not cooperating, any kind of exercise is likely to make you feel better than lying on the couch.

Write. I don’t mean start a Substack but if that’s on your mind, go for it. What I really was thinking about was getting out a piece of paper and penning a handwritten note to a friend or family member. Getting “real mail” is one of life’s disappearing pleasures and you don’t need fancy stationery or a $5 Hallmark card to make someone’s day. You also don’t need to agonize over the message. A few lines to let someone know you are thinking about them will do the trick.

There are lots of other ways to cope, of course. But I don’t paint, draw, or knit. I’m not much for meditating or praying. And while there was a time in my life when I made music, that’s no longer in my wheelhouse. International travel is on my dance card but not for a few months yet. But you do you. Whatever it takes to get you through now.

As for the longer term, the options are not yet clear. While I’ve always been politically active in one way or another, starting from taking my coloring book and crayons to stay busy during my mother’s League of Women Voters meetings, my role has been that of foot soldier. I have made calls, knocked doors, licked envelopes, showed up in hearing rooms, posted signs on telephone poles, you name it. And I’m ready to do that again, only I am guessing it will take a while for the leaders and organizers to figure out how we foot soldiers can be best deployed. And when that happens, I will be ready for my assignment, hopefully somewhat nourished and refreshed by taking a break from the news cycle.