Chickens in the Hood

Maybe not the solution to the high price of eggs

In real news last week regarding the price of eggs, Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins told a Fox News host, “People are sort of looking around thinking, ‘Wow, well maybe I can get a chicken in my backyard,’ and it’s awesome.”

Setting aside the fact that 44 million Americans live in apartments and presumably do not have chicken-friendly backyards, this is the kind of incredible (aka incompetent and tone deaf) leadership we’re getting now. Way to go America.

But hey just for the sake of argument, say you have a backyard. Could a couple of chickens be the answer to your mounting grocery bill?

Consider this carefully. Back in the late 1950s, my husband’s Aunt Ruth considered extending her small chicken flock into a commercial operation. Her husband, who had spent his life farming pigs and corn in the Missouri River bottom, reportedly said, “when things get bad enough that I have to raise chickens, I’m going to get a short piece of rope and hang myself from the bridge.”

Short of setting up your own chicken business, there are some options. Apparently, keeping chicken in your backyard in DC was illegal until 2018 when new laws were put in place allowing folks to have up to 6 hens (but no roosters due to noise concerns) with the proviso that coops must be in the rear yard, at least 50 feet away from any residential buildings, schools (more on that below), or churches, and 5 feet from any side or rear lot lines. So you’d better measure carefully before investing. Helpfully, the DC Public Library has curated a list of resources for those interested in a backyard flock.

And if you aren’t sure you’re in it for the long haul, Axios reported that DMV residents (for those of you who live elsewhere, that’s District/Maryland/Virginia, not Department of Motor Vehicles) a business called Rent the Chicken will deliver and set up a coop on wheels to your property. For $495, you get two hens, chicken feed, and food dishes for a five to six month period, and an expectation that you’ll get 8 to 14 eggs per week. Optimistically, that’s 28 dozen eggs at more than $17 per dozen. Compare that to the most expensive eggs being offered at the local Safeway this week: $8.29 for a dozen extra large organic free range eggs. I think I’ll pass.

Our neighborhood elementary school has had chickens for a number of years as part of its science program. Fully compliant with protocols of the State Superintendent for Education and the DC Department of Health, the current residents of the coop adjacent to the garden and playground are Chocolate Marshmallow, Marshmallow, Chocolate Oreo, and Chicken Vader. In addition to indoor quarters and a fenced yard, they have an automated water heater that ensures that fresh drinking water is available even when temperatures are below freezing. Plus they have a Facebook group of parents who, along with teachers, ensure their health and well being even over the summer.

When I asked my 9 year old neighbor for details, he shrugged and said “they’re for the little kids,” clearly more interested in basketball than chickens. Can’t say I can argue with his priorities.